Christmas Trick
by LTP-girl
Summary: A Christmas prank goes awry when Connie and the detectives pay a visit to Santa. Connie's Pov.


**Just something light and fun for the holidays. Hope y'all had a great Christmas*^_^***

Disclaimer: I do not own _Law & Order _and its characters.

East 10th St, Manhattan, NY, Saturday, 3:30pm

Connie, Lupo, and Bernard staggered out of the bar laughing, their hands laden with bags full of Christmas shopping. They had spent the afternoon hunting high and low for perfect gifts for friends and family members, followed by a few eggnogs at _Howl's Gavel Bar, _much in the Christmas spirit_._

"Thanks for your help today guys," Connie said merrily. "I would never have been able to get this much shopping done without you. You both know how to pick out good presents."

"Aw no problem," Bernard replied. "That's what being a detective's all about – following clues, and figuring out what fits."

"My sister's going to love that bracelet you picked out for her," Connie mentioned to Lupo.

"And my sister in law's going to love that scarf and knit cap you picked out for her, Connie," Lupo replied.

They continued to bustle along the busy sidewalk, bumping into people walking in the opposite direction. The street led them to huge crowd of people.

"What's all this?" Connie wondered.

"Probably some Christmassy thing," said Lupo. "It's that time of year again."

"Hey, look, it's Santa Claus," Bernard beamed.

They observed a long line stretch down the street.

"What do you say we pay a visit to Santa?" Bernard exclaimed.

"Yeah, let's get a photo," Connie agreed whole heartedly, thinking the day she had spent with the detectives as something memorable to look back upon. It was too bad Mike hadn't joined them, Connie had thought. She had invited him to tag along on the Friday, but as always, he was too busy.

"I don't know guys, aren't we a bit old for this kind of thing," Lupo interjected.

"Oh no, you can never be too old for Santa," Connie assured him.

/

_How infantile, waiting in line for a photo on Santa's lap_, she found herself thinking, the timely wait toying with her patience.

It was all in good fun, nonetheless.

"Hey Connie, I dare you to say something filthy in Santa's ear," Bernard said wickedly.

"You should ask him what he wears under his suit," Lupo chimed in.

Both men laughed uncontrollably.

She paused for a moment, considering what they had both said.

"Come on Connie, it'll be fun," Bernard urged.

Connie wasn't sure whether it was the excitement of the week leading up to Christmas, or the one too many eggnogs she had shared with the detectives earlier, but to her, the idea of shocking the jolly old fat man's socks off sounded like fun.

"Sure thing!" she replied avidly.

Santa sat proudly on a heavily tinselled scalloped thrown. "Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas," he bellowed jovially.

Connie made her way nervously towards the kindly looking man, aware that every parent and child waiting in the cue behind her was watching. She paused for a moment to glance back at Lupo and Bernard cheering her on. She proceeded towards Santa's open arms with new acquired confidence, the detectives' reckless enthusiasm putting an extra spring in her step. She took a seat on Santa's lap.

"Now, what would you like for Christmas, little girl?" Santa asked with an amused smile.

Connie watched Lupo and Bernard standing behind the picket line, and couldn't help but giggle at the obscene, but very humorous, gestures they were directing towards her.

She glanced into Santa's eyes, a mischievous smirk plastered across her face. There was something familiar about those stony-blue eyes twinkling back at her.

"Well Santa, I've been an awful good girl this year," she replied, a seductive hue in her voice, recalling the line in the Christmas ditty _Santa Baby_. She whispered something risqué into his ear.

Santa's cheeks reddened. "Shame on you, little girl, for such notions," he chastised jokingly to Connie. "For that, you shall receive a lump of coal in your stocking!"

She cracked up laughing, and so did Santa. Lupo and Bernard were right, this was kind of fun! And she was pleased to find that the man dressed in the Santa suit had such a generous sense of humour. But then, he was probably glad to have come across someone he could have a laugh with for a change, after having so many bratty rugrats crawl all over him that afternoon.

She watched as the two detectives continued to banter.

"Hey Connie, pull his beard off," Bernard prompted sneakily.

"Expose him for the fraud that he is," Lupo added.

Connie continued with the rouse, smiling at the two partners in crime.

She placed her legs across his lap in a scissor-kick fashion, and patted his inflated stomach. "Now Santa, if you want to get it on in the sack with Mrs. Claus, you've got to stop eating those cookies people leave out for you. No woman likes a fatty," she teased. She tugged at his fake beard. "And why don't you shave this silly thing off? Then we can see what a devilishly handsome man you are…" Her words had become slurred.

Connie didn't realize how hard she had been tugging at Santa's beard, until it had ripped off into her hand.

"Oh shit! Sorry Santa," she cursed loudly, the belated effects of the eggnog hitting her senses.

Outraged gasps and grumbles arose from annoyed parents waiting in line, as they desperately covered their children's ears in response to Connie's foul language.

Connie noticed there was something very familiar about this Santa. She had recognized his chin.

Santa quickly grabbed the white beard from Connie's hand, and replaced on his chin before anybody noticed what had happened. He clutched onto her arm, and leaned in closer towards her. He could smell alcohol on her breath. "Connie it's, me," he said in a low voice, revealing his true identity before she made even more of a fool of herself.

Connie focused her eyes, realizing who it was.

"Oh my goodness, Mike! What are you doing here?"

"I should be asking you the same question," he replied, clearly agitated. "I'm doing this for charity."

"I-I'm sorry Mike, I didn't know it was you." She quickly stood from his lap, feeling very embarrassed.

By this time, parents had been so put off by the display that they had taken their business elsewhere, leaving a dwindling minority waiting in the queue.

A drunken Connie swayed before falling into Mike's lap once again.

Mike scanned the row of people, recognizing Lupo and Bernard amongst the group. It was them. They were the ones who had put Connie up to this.

A look of surprise spread across both Lupo and Bernard's faces when they recognized the man dressed in the Santa costume. They approached him with familiarity.

"Hey Cutter, ma man," Bernard greeted, his arms outstretched in a warm embrace as he approached him, Lupo following suit.

Lupo helped Connie to her feat.

Oh no, they had been drinking too, Mike realized, noticing the two detectives' glazed expressions and the reek of alcohol on their breaths. Cutter returned their gestures before getting out of his seat.

"Right, let's get you lot home before you do something stupid," Mike said to the three of them.

"Oh, do we have to? Why do you always have to ruin our fun?"Connie stamped her foot grumpily, not unlike some of the spoiled brats he had consoled earlier that day. He had become fairly used to tantrums by now.

"Sorry, executive's prerogative," he replied deadpan, guiding her down the steps.

Lupo and Bernard followed closely behind.

"What about those kids who want to see Santa?" Bernard protested. "Won't they be disappointed?"

"I was getting tired of them," Mike answered. "Besides, my shift's almost over."

Mike gathered their Christmas shopping and proceeded down the street. "I've parked my sleigh, I mean car, around the corner," he informed them. "You can sober up at my place."

Connie couldn't wipe the smirk on her face, as she continued to make her way down, Lupo and Bernard at each side. _Mike makes one very attractive Santa Claus_, she pondered to herself. _I must get him under the mistletoe some time. _

The end.

**What do you think? Feel free to comment:-D**


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